Things I learned yesterday.

• A man coming on to a woman is one thing. A man who holds a copy of the keys to the woman's apartment coming on to her, however, adds a whole 'nother level of scary to the equation.
  
  What disturbs me the most is that when my husband related that his coworker -- who also lives in our apartment complex -- has also had a history of harassment from the landlord, I felt relieved. WTF? The reasoning, I think, is that if he's done it to someone else and they were never physically assaulted, that means I don't have to worry too much about it either. But I know even that is iffy. And either way, I shouldn't be happy that someone else has gone through the same thing. Blech.
  


• When we got on the trolley/subway/train ("the T") last night, all the seats were taken -- we weren't the only ones heading to the Penguins game. I am loathe to ask people for any sort of assistance when I'm out in public, because it opens me up to questioning that I don't particularly want to deal with. So I figured, you know, it's just a quarter hour worth of standing, it won't be pleasant but I should be able to manage.
  
  Little did I know that it's not just being upright on one's own two feet: it's holding on to the rail (holding my arms in any unnatural position for too long is painful) and keeping one's feet planted on the ground. Every time the train stopped, started, lurched, turned, or hit a bump, it meant a serious effort to stay upright and not go crashing into some other poor passenger nearby. And it was seriously hard on me, particularly that one arm, and all up and down the backs of my legs.
  
  The suckiest part is that I then had to walk uphill about a mile to the arena, and then try to maintain my balance on a wet cement "bench" while trying to get a decent view through the people and trees in front of me. I emptied a small handful of pain killers into my bag before we left, and there were only two halves left by the time I got home. And I woke up with an awful headache this morning, that I'm still trying to fight off.


• Gas is expensive...
  
  
  ... no, seriously:
  
  
  
  This same station has before advertised their gas at $2.09 when the prevailing price was just a few cents above three dollars: they were obviously going for $2.99. That was the most tightly-packed gas station I've ever seen -- and I lived in California my first twenty years.
  


• I had a bit of a realization on the way home last night. Stress and pain are irrevocably intertwined, we know. I've never been able to pinpoint a recognizable pattern of correlation in my own life, though. Until I paid attention to how I reacted to point no. one above: I pretty much fell into a slump, blank and depressed emotionally, slow and devoid of any energy physically. This is very common for me as a reaction to any stressor.
  
  And now that I think of it, I know I've read on adrenal fatigue (?) -- essentially, in chronic pain patients, the body compensates for the effect of the "extra" pain with adrenaline, but after overproducing for too long, the system becomes fatigued -- and when traditional "fight-or-flight" situations are encountered, the body just sort of shuts down. Whatever the merits of the condition itself*, that's certainly a fair description of what happens to me when I face very stressful situations -- I just shut down, not only emotionally but physically as well. It pretty much lasts as long as it takes for me to be able to clear the worry from my head.
  
  In fact, it's rather similar in function to a panic attack. What's different are the symptoms experienced.
  

*Ugh, I know I started the "alternative takedown" thing here, and I'm still not entirely happy with people who push scam treatments on people who are desparate or disillusioned enough to try anything. But I don't think scorn should be directed toward the people who are suffering with problems that their doctors can't (or won't) diagnose, for whom traditional means of treatment prove ineffective. These are people who are navigating the world they live in as best they can. If there is judgment to be given, a better focus would be the practitioners who push ineffective treatment on people for profit.

notes

I. I HATE THESE FUCKING SPASMS AHHHHH.

II. know that third word in this blog's name? yeah, it's not just the climate manifestations that's referring to. my brain has been fraught and frazzled and frustrated for days now. it's like there's a thick haze on the lens through which you view the world, so it takes so much more effort to make anything out, and then double that effort to make anything of it, and oh hell, just forget trying to actually then form and communicate a cohesive message to the outside world through that haze.


III. please excuse the design disarray. I have been mucking about with my templates and lost the sidebar content. and item II means that it won't be worked out immediately. give me a week or three.

IV. I so want to contribute to the disability carnival coming up at cripchick's. I don't know that I'm in a state right now to write something fitting by the deadline. regardless, check that out when it goes up.

V. I have awesome friends.

VI. I am noting this here to put pressure on myself to do this: I have two posts planned, for May 11th and May 12th, both days of significance for me. we'll see if I find myself able to follow through, or if I call it in at the last minute once again.

VII. fucking Versus. fucking work. I've had to work three of the last three round-two games the Penguins played against the Rangers. so I missed them. then tonight, finally, I'm off for the fourth game. and it's on fucking Versus, a channel we do not receive now that we've disentangled ourselves from the pulsing evil that is Comcast. we'd go and watch it outside Mellon Arena (totally awesome that they're doing that) if it weren't for the fact that husband has to work tomorrow. le sigh.

VIII. wii is awesome. yay mario kart!

Hah

I gotta say, I respect my new geographical neighbors. The national media was working itself up into a lather about Obama's remarks about working-class Pennsylvanians, and then it turned out that, here in actual non-Philly PA (those same voters about whom Obama was talking), nobody gives a shit. I hope all of these pundits who pride themselves on being "in touch" with the average Joe down here on the ground (who is lucky to count unpaid vacation days among his benefits, much less owning his own vacation home) feel the sweet, sweet sting of pwnage.

And just now, my husband emails me this:

Politics stops at the water's edge -- even if that water's frozen, apparently.

About 57,000 more households in the Pittsburgh region tuned in to watch the Penguins beat up on the Ottawa Senators than tuned in to see two senators (Obama and Clinton) beat up on each other in the Democratic presidential debate, according to Nielsen Media Research.

The hockey game played in 175,000 -- or 23 percent -- of all households in the Pittsburgh metro market, while the blame game played in 118,000 households -- or 14 percent of the market, according to Nielsen.

Pittsburghers know better than to think that debates moderated by TV "journalists" are worth anybody's time. They neither inform nor edify; they aren't entertaining; they have nothing to do with our actual lives. We'd rather you broadcast ol' Sax Guy playing the Addams Family tune on a two-hour looop than watch a couple of blowhards play the same old tired gotcha game with two politicians who'd be better served catching a few hours of much-needed sleep.

We're too smart for you, o MSM. Neener neener.

Penguins 4-0 Shutout Redux

YESSSSS

But I have to say...

Why the 'stache, Sid? Whyyyyyyy???